Listen to your heart or your disease?

My disease is with me at all times, trailing me, talking to me. Only through meetings, prayer, meditation, writing, reading, surrender can I learn how to deal with it. Half the battle is recognizing my disease when it’s talking to me and labeling it as such. Once you gain this awareness, you next have a choice.

Am I going to listen to the disease, which brought me to rehab and near death, or am I going to listen to my heart, my higher power, my fellow sober alcoholics, etc?

On paper that choice seems easy, but it’s not in real life. My disease has been with me for as long as I can remember, constantly tricking me that doom is ahead and I must address it now with worry and anxiety.

Making that choice to listen to my disease will one day lead me to a pill and a drink.

So today, I choose to not engage my disease and instead live my sober life with gratitude and love.